Why I Don’t Like Mediating Workplace Disputes by Kate Russell

Says the mediator who runs a business that provides workplace conflict management. 

Let me explain.

Mediation works brilliantly in family law or commercial disputes—situations where both parties can negotiate an outcome. They can trade something, make a deal, and move on.

Workplace conflict? It’s different.

It’s Personal

Work isn’t just a job—it’s where we bring our skills, our strengths, our identity. We want to be valued for the contribution we make. How we perform at work shapes how we see ourselves and how we want to be seen by our leaders and colleagues.

So, when a leader or HR says, “We’d like you to attend mediation to resolve this dispute,” it doesn’t feel like a neutral step. It feels like an attack on our competence, our worth. No matter how much a leader reassures someone, “You’re not in trouble, this is just a process,” it’s still received as a sign that they’re not measuring up.

It feels punitive. It feels legal. It feels like a step towards performance management.

Conflict is Rarely Just About Personalities

Workplace conflict is complex. It usually stems from systemic issues—not just two people who don’t get along. Sometimes, it’s about unclear expectations, power imbalances, or a failure to address underlying frustrations. Even when a dispute seems simple, we always want to understand what triggered it in the first place.

That’s why, before bringing people together, we work with leaders, managers, and sometimes the wider team to explore what’s really going on. What’s fuelling the conflict? What needs to change at a structural level to prevent this from happening again?

A Different Approach

At The Huddle, we take a different route. Instead of “mediation,” we talk about how we want to work together moving forward. We focus on what “good” looks like and how to get there.

This might involve:

✅ Creating team agreements around respect and communication.

✅ Clarifying roles, expectations, and decision-making authority.

✅ Holding facilitated conversations, which we call "meetings"—not as a punishment, but as a constructive reset.

These conversations aren’t about negotiating a settlement. They’re about understanding each other, resetting relationships, and creating a work environment that feels safe and functional for everyone.

Mediation is an important conflict management tool, but language matters—especially at work. When we shift the focus from blame to collaboration, we create the best chance for real resolution.

Because, at the end of the day, work is personal. And how we handle conflict should reflect that.